“It is in brokenness sometimes that we understand what it truly means to lead.” – Bryan Stevenson
Talent counts, but effort counts twice @angeladuckw
Nothing undermines the power and promise of a talented, trained, gifted and promising leader like fear. So be brave! Gary Haugen
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. One lick and you suck forever. Julie Funt
I don’t get to choose who I respect. Everyone is made in the image of God and has intrinsic value. 1 Peter 2:17
Our troubled world is demanding a better brand of leaders, those who put the needs of others before their own priorities. Bill Hybels
When God calls me… my job is to show up and say YES.
Be humble, be a leader not a troublemaker, thank your mentors, encourage young leaders, be civil, pass the baton well Bill Hybels
“Your greatest contribution to the world may not be something you do, but someone you raise. You need to raise WOW kids.
The moment you criticize what you don’t understand, you stop learning. The moment you stop learning, you stop leading.
“Keep your eyes and mind wide open.”
The benefits of a healthy amount of self-confidence are many. When you’re self-assured, it’s easier to achieve your goals, others are naturally drawn toward your charisma, and you feel more comfortable in any situation. Life is easier with self-confidence.
Add these easy habits to your daily routines and feel the difference.
- Dress the part. The way you dress affects your confidence. Research shows that dressing well can boost your self-esteem.
You don’t have to spend an enormous amount of money on expensive designer outfits. When shopping, be frugal but buy nice clothes. You’ll have fewer items of clothing, but the ones you have will bring you confidence each time you leave the house. The key is how you feel in an outfit. A rule of thumb that I learned was: always have a blue blazer! If you are laid back like me, just wear the blazer with jeans and then BOOM! People will see you as “dressed up”.
- Think positive. Each time you notice a negative thought about yourself, switch your focus to something more positive. Negative thoughts drain your self-confidence. Nugget: It takes the same effort to think positive as it does negative. Only one however is good for you 🙂
For example, if you have a thought about not accomplishing all of your goals, you can counter it with what you have Have ready answers for any negativity.
- Speak slower. This may seem like a strange way to increase your confidence, but research shows that those who have higher self-esteem talk slower. Learn to speak slower and pause more often. Your words matter and you don’t have to rush them to express yourself.
James 1:19 let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
People who are not confident in their words or themselves tend to speak very fast.
- Volunteer more often. Volunteering can raise your confidence levels in multiple ways:
Volunteering can increase your skills.
It can show you that others value your work and ideas.
It can also help you understand your strengths and weaknesses.
It gives you the ability to give back and earn gratitude from others. You’ll feel better and appreciate life more.
Hebrews 13:16 “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”
1 John 3:17 “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”
5. Start a healthy habit. A healthy habit such as exercising on the weekends or eating a fruit at breakfast is an excellent way to boost your self-esteem. You’ll be able to feel confident that you’re following through with your goals.
- Focus on your body language. Are you scared to raise your head and look people in the eye? Are you frightened to stand up straight and walk with confidence? Your body language shows the world your confidence – or lack of it.
Mimic strong body language even if you’re not feeling confident. By looking more confident, you’ll start to feel this way. Make lists.
7. Make a List! There are several types of lists you can make to increase confidence:
The first is a list of your accomplishments. Dig deep and include all of the rewards, ribbons, and other prizes you’ve won. Include things from both the past and present on this list.
The second list is the things that you’re grateful for right now. This list will show you that you have many things in your life that matter and make you happy.
Post your lists in a prominent place in your home so you can see them on a consistent basis.
If you incorporate these habits into your daily routines, you’ll enjoy increased self-confidence very quickly. The longer you follow these strategies, the greater your new-found confidence will grow.
Why do some people seem to get what they want out of life while others do not? There are several common reasons why your life isn’t everything you want it to be. If you understand these common mistakes, you can increase the likelihood of getting what you want. Have you ever wondered why some of your friends are successful… and they aren’t any more talented than you are?
Get what you want by avoiding the most common pitfalls:
- You don’t know what you want. Just because you’re unhappy with your current situation doesn’t mean that you know what you want. It only means that you don’t want what you have.
- Solution: It’s that simple. Make a list of what you want and structure your life around creating that life and attaining those things. Do something each day to get closer to your goal!
- You don’t make the things you want a priority. Do you really want a successful career or to lose the weight you keep talking about? Or would you rather watch Seinfeld reruns and eat Cheetos at night?
- Solution: The real issue isn’t what you want, but what you’re willing to give up. It’s going to take work. Nobody ever got discovered or hit it big by doing nothing. Getting in shape requires giving up certain foods and giving up some free time to hit the gym consistently. How much are you willing to give up to get what you want? Answer that question and you’ll know how much it means to you.
- You aren’t focused. It’s never been easier to get distracted or forgetful than it is right now. Modern life is full of digital distractions. Our ability to focus has never been lower. In the words Mr Myagi in the last Karate Kid movie – “Your focus needs more focus.”
- Solution: Remind yourself of your goals at least twice each day. Read and visualize your goals while you lie in bed, once in the morning and once at night. Keep your intentions fresh in your mind by reminding yourself of them daily.
- You aren’t prepared for the grind. Even the most prestigious accomplishments are a grind 99% of the time. Consider a professional basketball player like Kobe Bryant. There are plenty of stories of Kobe staying after a Friday night game and working with a coach all night long until practice time on Saturday morning.
- Solution: The most impressive accomplishments require mundane, boring tasks repeated over long periods of time. Regardless of the size of your aspirations, it won’t be exciting 99% of the time. Playing music in front of thousands of fans is great. Preparing your gift / talent, writing the songs, recording them, arranging a tour….. not so much.
- Accept that much of your goal requires actions that won’t be fun or exciting.
- You’re not focused on processes. Obsessing over your weight isn’t the key to getting slimmer. The key is the adoption of habits that will automatically carry you to your goal.
- Solution: Create a list of habits that guarantee success. (Things that you can do each day to get closer to your desired goal) Now your only real challenge is to incorporate those habits into your life. Start small and continue to make progressive changes. Trust the process! Don’t get lazy!
- You’re impatient. Success at anything takes time. Depending on your objective, you might find that your sixth month provides more results than the first five months. It’s not unlike trying to roll a boulder down a hill. It can take a lot of energy to get it moving, but it quickly picks up speed with minimal effort after that. #lawofthebigMO 🙂 #JohnMaxwell
- Solution: Don’t rely on your emotions. If you’re doing effective things each day, you’ll get what you want. Avoid giving in to your frustration. Be patient.
Life is frustrating and challenging. It can be especially frustrating when nothing seems to go your way. Know what you want and have a logical plan to achieve it. Have the patience to wait for the results to arrive.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing? That’s a question I like to ask people I know. It’s a question that gets to your core passion. Fear however has a way of paralyzing us. Fear causes us to shrink back…to doubt…. and in many instances, not even try.
Fear is a part of life, and some fear is helpful. You’re afraid to stick your hand into a fire or to jump off a cliff. If you weren’t afraid of anything, you wouldn’t live long. But most fears are crippling and influence your decisions in negative ways.
Imagine you’re walking through the woods and get a thorn in your arm. You would likely remove it and go about your life with little thought of that mild injury. But imagine if you didn’t deal with it.
Eventually, that thorn would affect many of your decisions:
- It would become infected and sore.
- You would be careful not to bump anything.
- You’d avoid most sports.
- You would protect yourself anytime someone walked to close.
- Eventually, you might even develop a special cover to tape over it.
- Then you must worry about finding clothes that fit over it.
- You couldn’t swim because the tape might come off.
- It would affect your sleeping position, and so on.
Fears are the same way. A fear of talking to strangers affects the decisions you make in your social life and career. We avoid all types of things to ensure we don’t stir up the negative emotions caused by our fears.
The more fears you have, the less freedom you enjoy.
Try these techniques to transcend your fears and claim the level of freedom you deserve:
- Become more aware. There’s a big world out there with a variety of perspectives. Yours might not be the best perspective. You might believe that a fear of public speaking is totally normal and justified. But is it? What is the worst that could happen if you make a mistake? No one is going to stone you.
- Look at all your fears and make a list of them.
- Decide which are causing your life the most grief. Which fears do you spend the most time working around? Which are the most limiting?
- Determine why you’re afraid. What are the possible consequences that cause you to be afraid?
- Deal with your fears a little at a time. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, try giving a speech to your child, nephew, or niece. Then trying giving it to three of them. Build up your tolerance until you can speak to thousands.
- Use techniques to lower your fear. There are many tools for dealing with fear:
- The Emotional Freedom Technique is popular.
- So is the Sedona Method.
- Hypnosis and meditation are also options.
- You can also use a psychologist if you’re not making a lot of progress on your own.
- Use a journal. Writing can often be more helpful than thinking. We take the things we write more seriously than our self-talk. You talk to yourself constantly throughout the day. What will one more thought accomplish? Use a journal to record your thoughts, fears, and your progress.
- Develop a new understanding of failure. Many of the silly fears we have are related to a fear of failure. Ask yourself what can happen if you fail? Failure can be a great thing if you learn from it and apply it to your life.
Imagine a life without any irrational fears. Now let me ask you the question: What would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing?
You have a choice. You don’t have to keep your fears. Spend some time each day dealing with your fears and reclaim your life.
Live life to the full!
Stop being afraid!
Just do it!
No pain … no gain.
No risk… no reward.
If you don’t get over your fear, at the end of your life the words “If I only _____” or “I wonder if I ______” will leave you with a feeling of regret.
This graphic shows a side by side comparison in a pretty decent way, and have some of my main disagreements listed. By the way, it’s OK if we disagree.